Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Team Stay At Home

I caught a segment on Good Morning America this morning where Cokie Roberts was promoting her new book "We Are Our Mother's Daughters". She made a reference to the ongoing feud between Working Moms vs. Stay At Home Moms. Cokie commented that women need to support each other without judging because what works for one woman and family, doesn't necessarily work for another. It got me thinking. How supported do I feel as a SAHM?

Staying home is not for everyone. Financially, the option for me to stay home was available. I had a career before I had my first child and I made a well thought through decision to stay home. I am happy with my decision and it has afforded me opportunities to be involved in things I couldn't be if I were at work all day. Even on the worst days at home, I don't regret it. When I am having a really bad day, I don't wish I was back at work, I just wish the kids would listen, or stop crying, or stop fighting, or, well, you get the idea.

Those of you that had a choice to return to work and chose to, can you just admit that you like working?? Just be honest. Just say you enjoy your work. I respect that. It doesn't have to mean you don't like being around your kids. Please don't tell me "I need to work because I need adult interaction" or "I need to use my brain". Are you implying that I don't do either of these things because I have chosen to stay at home?

There is one woman in my life that has made these very statements to me on more than one occasion and I can say with almost certainty that these comments stem from guilt. She has 2 children and has been voluntarily in and out of the work force at least 3 times in the last 5 years and it was not for maternity leave. She definitely has some inner turmoil over her decision to return to work.

A "Mommy Blogger" featured on the Oprah show yesterday suggested that this war we wage between the Working Moms and the Stay At Homes, is really an internal war within ourselves. My being at home makes you feel guilty for not being there and your suggestions make me question my role there. And it all starts inside with how we are feeling about our own decisions.

So, let's just be honest. And then, let's just accept that honesty without judging. What is good for one person is not good for all. Just admit that you like working outside of the home. That statement doesn't have to be followed up with any justification. I like being a Stay At Home Mom. Period.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I tried to comment earlier but somehow deleted it. Hopefully this works... I stumbled across your site when looking up mom groups in the main line. What a great blog! I'm a fellow (new) stay at home mom living in Ardmore and can relate to a few of the posts I've already read. Keep up the good work! You're a great writer.


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