I've thought now for about a year that I was done having kids. I have two boys that are 2 1/2 years apart. If I was going to have more, I would have planned on that over a year ago, so my third would be spaced the same. People tell me quite frequently that I "need" to try for a girl; that someone as "girlie" as me should have at least one girl. Other people remind me that "3 is the new 2"; it is becoming more common to have 3 kids instead of just 2. I usually blow these comments off because I've been pretty sure of my feelings towards having more kids - not going to happen. I was pretty sure until I had a moment that I questioned my stance.
I was helping out some friends today with getting their kids to and from camp and a birthday party. I had between one and two extra kids in the car throughout the day and I have to admit, I really liked it. I liked having all the chatter in the car and when I looked in the rear view mirror and saw extra faces, I wondered why not have more? Sure, today was a novelty, so there was no fighting or whining in the car; but I was still shocked with myself that I would even for a moment consider having more kids. I can't explain the feeling I had in a car filled with kids, but it was a good feeling. I guess I really like being a mom and I wanted more. Could Motherhood be addictive?
If it is, I have a few problems with supporting my addiction. For one, my husband has been very clear since our second son was born that he is DONE having kids. He has informed me numerous times that if I would like more, I will need to find someone else to father them. Kidding aside, we have had real discussions about having more kids and he would be open to considering the idea if it was what I really wanted. But, that's my second problem; I don't think I really ever want to be pregnant again. I do the whole pregnancy thing pretty well, a hidden talent, but I don't really enjoy it. The first time I was pregnant, I was excited. The second time, I just wanted to have the baby without having to grow it. But, that leads me to my last issue; I don't want to have a baby in my house again. I am so happy with the ages I have now. My car today was filled with those same ages and it was fun. We are done with cribs, high-chairs, and diapers; and I am very happy about this. I am just not a baby person. I can honestly say I have never thought, "I'd really like to have a little helpless crying person come live with us and keep me from sleeping for 3 months". That is something I am still sure will never enter my mind.
So where does that leave me? Perhaps adoption? I could fill my car, my house, and my life with children instead of infants. Its something to think about. But, so is just car-pooling more often. Today's moment may very well have been a moment of insanity instead of clarity. And, if I'm jonesing for more kids, I could maybe just get a quick fix by carpooling.