This past week was Vacation Bible Camp at our church and I think I am still recovering. I've helped with this camp almost every year since we moved here and every year its a great week, but tiring. I enjoy volunteering and its not a hard job, but it is exhausting. Every year it puzzles me more and more why this camp kicks my ass. It's 3 hours a day for a week. Just 3 hours a day. Three hours of me merely herding my assigned group of kids around from one activity to the next. It seems simple enough. But this is the one week each year where I actually need an afternoon nap and I'm falling asleep before 10pm. I don't get it.
During the school year when my preschooler was in school for just under 3 hours, I felt like I did far more exhausting things in that time period. I got groceries, went to the gym, and got a run in before picking my preschooler up. And then I continued on with my afternoon herding my two kids around without feeling like I got hit by a truck that morning. So, why is herding a few extra kids around a very structured camp for the morning so tough?
Someone at the camp last year used the term "herding cats", and I agree with this description. There were a few times throughout the week that I felt like all eight kids in my group were running in different directions away from where I wanted them to be. Cats don't come when you call them. Is this what its like for teachers every day? Are my kids' teachers herding cats every school day of the year? And if it is, is this what my kids' teachers feel like at the end of each day? I gave my kids' teachers a lot of credit before, but if this is their exhaustion at the end of every school day, then they are truly under-appreciated.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
My Favorite Place
I'm traveling with my husband this week without our kids. I've left my kids before, but never for this long and I'm already missing them. The thing is, I could go to fabulous places anywhere in the world, but I think my most favorite place in the whole world is a double bed with safety rails, covered in car and airplane sheets.
Every night I tuck each of my boys into bed. I lie there with them in their beds surrounded by their stuffed animals and monster truck shaped pillows, and it is delicious. If you have kids, you know exactly what I mean by "delicious"; there's no other way to describe your beautiful children, fresh from a bath in their cozy pajamas snuggling next to you. This is our good-night ritual. We lie there in the dark and talk about the day, we tickle, and we giggle. Our "good-nights" drag out and most nights its not their fault. Rarely is it them delaying their bedtime, but me wanting just one more kiss, just one more hug, just one more story from their day. And sometimes I linger too long and they fall asleep in my arms. Its my favorite place because its our place. Sometimes its all four of us reading together and its everything I need all in one place. I'm sure I'll be thinking about my favorite place every night while I'm out seeing the world. And I'll be looking forward to coming home because my whole world really just fits in one bed.
Every night I tuck each of my boys into bed. I lie there with them in their beds surrounded by their stuffed animals and monster truck shaped pillows, and it is delicious. If you have kids, you know exactly what I mean by "delicious"; there's no other way to describe your beautiful children, fresh from a bath in their cozy pajamas snuggling next to you. This is our good-night ritual. We lie there in the dark and talk about the day, we tickle, and we giggle. Our "good-nights" drag out and most nights its not their fault. Rarely is it them delaying their bedtime, but me wanting just one more kiss, just one more hug, just one more story from their day. And sometimes I linger too long and they fall asleep in my arms. Its my favorite place because its our place. Sometimes its all four of us reading together and its everything I need all in one place. I'm sure I'll be thinking about my favorite place every night while I'm out seeing the world. And I'll be looking forward to coming home because my whole world really just fits in one bed.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Absent-Minded Professor
I forgot to pick my son up from school today. There, I admit it, I'm publicly stating I was a little absent-minded. And, I'll admit its one of the most harmless, yet still horrifying things that can happen. He only had to wait 15 minutes for me, but its one of the worst feelings in the world; that second when you realize that you have no idea what time it is, followed by the sudden realization you are supposed to be someplace you are not. I usually have my stuff together and these types of moments are very rare for me, but they happen. I'm only comforted by the fact that one of my dear friends had the exact same scenario happen to her last year, so I'm not the only one.
Although my son was completely safe and absolutely unaffected by me showing up 15 minutes after school was finished, I was still horrified. What is so unsettling to me is that there was a period of time that I wasn't thinking about where my kids were. There was a span of minutes that seemed to just disappear. I was sitting in front of my laptop and was watching the time on the clock display in the lower right corner, but at some point it just stopped registering. What's funny is that I got immersed in a document I was working on regarding my kids, so they were on my mind, but I still lost track of them.
On my way to go fetch my son who was patiently waiting for me in the school office, I was thinking how strange it was to have lost track of him in my mind for any period of time. I'm not sure how many minutes I have spent since my kids were conceived where I haven't had them running through my mind. I'm always running a check when they are not right there holding my hand: where are they, are they safe, do I need to be doing something for them? Its like a loop that is always on in my brain while I'm awake, and probably while I'm asleep too. There was obviously a glitch in my system today, but it made me realize just how much of my time my kids consume, literally every second. That's a lot. So, although I do not profess making a habit of being absent-minded, I'm going to stop beating myself up for today's harmless episode.
Although my son was completely safe and absolutely unaffected by me showing up 15 minutes after school was finished, I was still horrified. What is so unsettling to me is that there was a period of time that I wasn't thinking about where my kids were. There was a span of minutes that seemed to just disappear. I was sitting in front of my laptop and was watching the time on the clock display in the lower right corner, but at some point it just stopped registering. What's funny is that I got immersed in a document I was working on regarding my kids, so they were on my mind, but I still lost track of them.
On my way to go fetch my son who was patiently waiting for me in the school office, I was thinking how strange it was to have lost track of him in my mind for any period of time. I'm not sure how many minutes I have spent since my kids were conceived where I haven't had them running through my mind. I'm always running a check when they are not right there holding my hand: where are they, are they safe, do I need to be doing something for them? Its like a loop that is always on in my brain while I'm awake, and probably while I'm asleep too. There was obviously a glitch in my system today, but it made me realize just how much of my time my kids consume, literally every second. That's a lot. So, although I do not profess making a habit of being absent-minded, I'm going to stop beating myself up for today's harmless episode.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Camp
The school year is coming to a close and every conversation I have had recently has started off with, "So where are your kids going to camp?" The norm on the Main Line is to send your kids to day camp for part of the summer, if not the whole summer. So, I've been confusing everyone when I answer that my kids aren't really going to camp this year. My 4 year old is doing one week while my 6 year old is finishing school, but after July 1st, we have zero weekday plans. Yes, that's right, I have an entire summer pretty much unplanned. And for the one person that actually said to me, "Oh, I'm sorry", I did that on purpose.
Its not that I'm opposed to camp. We've done lots of camps in past summers and it does provide a nice structure and a respite from having the kids home all the time. And if you're a working parent, camp is necessary to replace school and keep the kids occupied. But, as a stay-at-home mom I am really craving a break from structure. I don't want to have to be anywhere. I'd really like to just sleep in when we're tired, go for a walk when we feel like it, and take some spur of the moment day-trips when the weather is great. Camp is too much like school - we're rushing around every morning trying to get out the door and in the evening my kids are too exhausted to stay up much past dinner. No, I'd rather deal with the possible scenario of quarreling kids for the possibility of lazy morning breakfasts on the patio and staying up late to catch lightening bugs. Those are some fond memories of my childhood summers, without camp. And honestly, I'll assume the risk of my kids annoying me and each other if it means I don't have to pack lunches or unpack back-packs all summer.
So yes, I've gotten a few crazy looks when I reveal my plan for the summer. And I fully acknowledge that I may actually be a little crazy after a full summer with my kids at home, but I'll take my chances. Its just a summer and summers go by fast. I read a quote once, "The only thing more fleeting than summer is childhood". I'm keeping that quote close to my heart this summer as I soak up my children.
Its not that I'm opposed to camp. We've done lots of camps in past summers and it does provide a nice structure and a respite from having the kids home all the time. And if you're a working parent, camp is necessary to replace school and keep the kids occupied. But, as a stay-at-home mom I am really craving a break from structure. I don't want to have to be anywhere. I'd really like to just sleep in when we're tired, go for a walk when we feel like it, and take some spur of the moment day-trips when the weather is great. Camp is too much like school - we're rushing around every morning trying to get out the door and in the evening my kids are too exhausted to stay up much past dinner. No, I'd rather deal with the possible scenario of quarreling kids for the possibility of lazy morning breakfasts on the patio and staying up late to catch lightening bugs. Those are some fond memories of my childhood summers, without camp. And honestly, I'll assume the risk of my kids annoying me and each other if it means I don't have to pack lunches or unpack back-packs all summer.
So yes, I've gotten a few crazy looks when I reveal my plan for the summer. And I fully acknowledge that I may actually be a little crazy after a full summer with my kids at home, but I'll take my chances. Its just a summer and summers go by fast. I read a quote once, "The only thing more fleeting than summer is childhood". I'm keeping that quote close to my heart this summer as I soak up my children.
Friday, May 28, 2010
A Wife
I think I would like a wife. I don't mean in a Big Love polygamy or some other lesbian way, but I mean I need someone to help me while I am managing the constant responsibility of my family and household. Someone to help me take care of myself while I am taking care of everyone else. I have to give credit to a friend who jokingly said that she asks her husband every Christmas and birthday to get her a wife. Sadly, he's never gotten her one, but I really like her idea. And just this week I heard Oprah say that what moms really need are wives. If Oprah endorsed it, I think the idea is about to catch on.
I told my husband that I want a wife and he responded, "What you want is a personal assistant. You don't want a wife, trust me". Huh. That's funny, but I don't think just a personal assistant is going to do. A personal assistant could quit too easily when frustrated; there's not the same level of commitment. Only a wife can deal with an entire family yelling at her that they do not need jackets. And when that family later puts on the jackets that the wife brought anyway, she accepts that no one acknowledges that she was right or thanks her. Most assistants would have quit after the first day. I suppose I could quit too, but luckily for my husband, this wife puts up with the comments made under his breath about "nagging" when she is merely reminding him of everything he is forgetting. No, the key word here is "wife".
A lot of my responsibility falls under the "mom" job description, but a "wife" encompasses that. A wife has to keep track of and take care of all the kids, the actual children and the husband. Its all the details, the what's due and when. Its the what time and where. Its the remembering the jackets, drinks, hats, snacks, and sunscreen. I doubt I will ever actually get a wife to keep track of and take care of me, but I'm keeping the idea on my wish-list. It would be nice to just once show up somewhere without any thought and have everything that I need, even the things I didn't know I needed, there for me. I'd like to experience once what the rest of my family experiences on a daily basis.
I told my husband that I want a wife and he responded, "What you want is a personal assistant. You don't want a wife, trust me". Huh. That's funny, but I don't think just a personal assistant is going to do. A personal assistant could quit too easily when frustrated; there's not the same level of commitment. Only a wife can deal with an entire family yelling at her that they do not need jackets. And when that family later puts on the jackets that the wife brought anyway, she accepts that no one acknowledges that she was right or thanks her. Most assistants would have quit after the first day. I suppose I could quit too, but luckily for my husband, this wife puts up with the comments made under his breath about "nagging" when she is merely reminding him of everything he is forgetting. No, the key word here is "wife".
A lot of my responsibility falls under the "mom" job description, but a "wife" encompasses that. A wife has to keep track of and take care of all the kids, the actual children and the husband. Its all the details, the what's due and when. Its the what time and where. Its the remembering the jackets, drinks, hats, snacks, and sunscreen. I doubt I will ever actually get a wife to keep track of and take care of me, but I'm keeping the idea on my wish-list. It would be nice to just once show up somewhere without any thought and have everything that I need, even the things I didn't know I needed, there for me. I'd like to experience once what the rest of my family experiences on a daily basis.
Monday, May 17, 2010
The Hangover
I'm in the midst of planning a GNO - a girls night out. I get together with my best friend once or twice a year to go out without husbands or kids. I'm not sure what's funnier: how far in advance we have to plan in order to get our schedules synced for a night out, or the fact that I will spend the majority of my big night out drinking water. Times have changed and club soda greatly outnumbers any other drinks I have in the course of an evening. But as one of my other friends put it so well, "It only takes one hangover with kids to make you NEVER want to do that again; its just not worth it".
So, true. After a night out, there's nothing quite like waking at 6am to your kids crying and realizing that your head is pounding and you're on duty. Or the wisdom that you really can't curl up in a ball in the corner of the couch; you will NOT be left alone. This is true wisdom; the kind that will reform you. As a parent, you're expected to be at a high functioning level at all times, regardless of how you feel. Not only is no one going to bring you a pizza and cheese fries in the morning, but your kids will expect you to be upright and feeding them breakfast. I learned early on, and with this golden knowledge guiding me, I now stick to a very strict drink limit. It only took me one time of parenting after spending the night at a concert to learn my lesson. Its just not worth it.
So, true. After a night out, there's nothing quite like waking at 6am to your kids crying and realizing that your head is pounding and you're on duty. Or the wisdom that you really can't curl up in a ball in the corner of the couch; you will NOT be left alone. This is true wisdom; the kind that will reform you. As a parent, you're expected to be at a high functioning level at all times, regardless of how you feel. Not only is no one going to bring you a pizza and cheese fries in the morning, but your kids will expect you to be upright and feeding them breakfast. I learned early on, and with this golden knowledge guiding me, I now stick to a very strict drink limit. It only took me one time of parenting after spending the night at a concert to learn my lesson. Its just not worth it.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Any Given Sunday
I proposed last year that Mother's Day should be a day to spend without the kids; a day for peace and pampering. So how did I spend my Mother's Day this year? At Disney World with my kids, my husband, my in-laws, and thousands of annoying people with double strollers pushing around tired whining kids. Yes, I know, I didn't follow through with my plan. But last spring shortly after Mother's Day, I struck a deal with my 3 year old. I told him I would take him to Disney World to meet Mickey Mouse if he would lose the diapers. He potty trained himself the following day, in one day, and then wanted to know when we were leaving. He's been a trooper and has patiently waited almost a year for us to fit this trip into our schedule. So that is how I ended up at Disney World on Mother's Day.
I guess I sacrificed my Mother's Day for this trip. And it was a trip that I wasn't really looking forward to. I don't like crowds, I don't like people pushing strollers in crowds, and I don't like being held hostage to amusement park lines and awful food. In addition, Disney World is like Vegas for kids; it seems to never sleep and neither do the kids. Kids are up at all hours, which is very different than my usual parenting style. As for Mother's Day, there was a quick gift exchange with my kids earlier in the week before we left for the airport, but that was the extent of us observing Mother's Day. Sunday morning I pulled out the cards I had packed and reminded my kids and my husband to wish my mother-in-law a Happy Mother's Day, but this didn't trigger any of them to wish me one, not even my husband.
I have to say though, I was pleasantly surprised by how much fun our trip was, especially since I didn't peg myself or my husband as "Disney people". But I guess Disney really is a magical place because I wasn't bothered by any issues. Maybe it was my husband conquering the FASTPASS system, or the fact that we walked so much I could have eaten my shoe. But maybe it was just seeing the joy and excitement through the eyes of my children that made it so magical. Nothing beats riding Thunder Mountain with your kids in the dark at 10:30pm (yes, we gave in to the Vegas style parenting). I turned around on our climb up the track to look at my 3 year old with Magic Kingdom lit up behind him. He had his little hands in the air, thumbs up, smiling, and ready to ride "no-hands" for the 6th or 7th time on this ride. With my equally excited 6 year old at my side, I knew then that this might actually be one of the best Mother's Days yet. A reminder that any given Sunday, not just Mother's Day, I have the privilege of viewing the world with them; and that can be pretty magical.
I guess I sacrificed my Mother's Day for this trip. And it was a trip that I wasn't really looking forward to. I don't like crowds, I don't like people pushing strollers in crowds, and I don't like being held hostage to amusement park lines and awful food. In addition, Disney World is like Vegas for kids; it seems to never sleep and neither do the kids. Kids are up at all hours, which is very different than my usual parenting style. As for Mother's Day, there was a quick gift exchange with my kids earlier in the week before we left for the airport, but that was the extent of us observing Mother's Day. Sunday morning I pulled out the cards I had packed and reminded my kids and my husband to wish my mother-in-law a Happy Mother's Day, but this didn't trigger any of them to wish me one, not even my husband.
I have to say though, I was pleasantly surprised by how much fun our trip was, especially since I didn't peg myself or my husband as "Disney people". But I guess Disney really is a magical place because I wasn't bothered by any issues. Maybe it was my husband conquering the FASTPASS system, or the fact that we walked so much I could have eaten my shoe. But maybe it was just seeing the joy and excitement through the eyes of my children that made it so magical. Nothing beats riding Thunder Mountain with your kids in the dark at 10:30pm (yes, we gave in to the Vegas style parenting). I turned around on our climb up the track to look at my 3 year old with Magic Kingdom lit up behind him. He had his little hands in the air, thumbs up, smiling, and ready to ride "no-hands" for the 6th or 7th time on this ride. With my equally excited 6 year old at my side, I knew then that this might actually be one of the best Mother's Days yet. A reminder that any given Sunday, not just Mother's Day, I have the privilege of viewing the world with them; and that can be pretty magical.
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